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Mark Hunt Is The New Heavyweight Champion In An Alternate Reality

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Wow, what a great card last night for UFC 180! Those Mexican fighters sure know how to put on a show, but the real showstopper was when Mark Hunt stepped in for an injured Fabricio Werdum to fight Cain Velasquez infront of Cain’s hometown crowd. It was like a scene from a movie. Mark Hunt walks out to a respectful crowd, no boos but no thunderous applause either. He steps into the cage with a look of nervousness on his face. The lights go dark as Cain’s entrance music starts to play. The crowd goes absolutely batshit crazy, the Mariachi bands start to play Sabbath and and luchadors take off their masks for a better view. With churros in hand, the crowd eagerly anticipates the opening bell.




Bruce Buffer gives the introductions, the fighters touch gloves, and Herb Dean signals the start of the fight.

The camera pans to the crowd and sitting there in the front row, next to Dana White, is The Undertaker but he’s not here to drag Kane Velasquez back to hell… he’s just here to enjoy the show like the rest of us.

The two heavyweight monsters rush towards one another in the center of the ring. Cain immediately starts to clinch and tries to muscle Hunt towards the cage but Hunt just pushes him away, essentially shrugging off the champ’s wrestling. Cain sets up the take-down with a jab and a fake, once again Hunt is able to defend it. Mark Hunt has the 2nd best takedown defense in heavyweight history, but nobody was expecting him to make it look so easy against Cain.

You can tell Cain is starting to get frustrated and lose his composure. He starts to bring down the pace, knowing he’s much more prepared for a 5 round fight at altitude than Hunt is. Hunt motions to the crowd like “Let’s do this!!” and they start to cheer him on. Cain continues evasive tactics for the rest of the first round and the Mexican fight fans are starting to get a bit antsy.

Much of the same for the second round. Cain is fighting very defensively and conservative, while Hunt continues to try to push the pace and to get something going. The crowd is starting to turn on their countryman, who may still be recovering from past injuries from intense sparring sessions with Daniel Cormier. The round ends, and there’s a weird feeling in the air…

Hunt looks possessed coming into the 3rd round. He immediately charges towards Cain and the entire arena goes silent as he lands a devastating right hook that puts Cain on the ground. Silence, and then an eruption of cheers.

IT’S ALL OVER yells Goldberg.

Joe Rogan is speechless because he can’t even believe what just happened.

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Image credit: Hassy, the biggest Mark Hunt fan in the universe.

 

 

 


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